怎么去了那么久 What's taking so long?
你可算来了 Ahh, there she is.
给我拿了什么 Whatcha got?
西梅汁和抗生素软膏 Prune juice and Neosporin.
你果然是爱我的 You do love me.
其实我改变主意了 Actually, I changed my mind,
我今天不在家里工作了 and I'm not gonna work at home today.
我 我要出去 I'm gonna... I'm gonna go.
别别别 你哪里都别去 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You're not goin' anywhere.
你就留在这里 You're gonna stay here.
当我的小护士 You're gonna be my little nurse.
我有很多工作要完成 在这里做不了 I have a lot of work to do, and I just can't do it here.
我可以帮你一起做啊 I can help you with that, just come on.
我会给你带吃的回来 I mean, that's... I know, bring... I'll bring food.
不 拜托不要留下我一人 我会胡思乱想的 No, please don't leave me alone with my thoughts.
放轻松 我很快会回来 Just relax and I'll be back.
-再见 -好吧 - Bye. - Okay.
爱你 Love you.
我也爱你 Love you, too.
你的房间怎么样 How was your room?
我很肯定昨晚没有床虱咬我 Well, I'm pretty sure I didn't get bedbugs.
恭喜啊 Oh, congrats.
-你饿了吗 -饿了 - Are you hungry? - Yeah.
美食网站上说 Yelp says there's a diner
一英里外有家餐厅的华夫饼超好吃 with a strong waffle game about a mile up.
怎样的华夫饼算超好吃 What makes a strong waffle game?
老实说 Well, honestly, uh, you know,
华夫饼不过是为了吃黄油和糖浆 a waffle is just a delivery system
而存在的一个承载系统 for the butter and the syrup,
所以我的答案是有黄油和糖浆的 so I'm gonna go with the butter and the syrup.
我以前从来没逃过班 I've never actually called out before today.
不管了 如果他开除我 我就去别的地方 Whatever. If he fires me, I'll just go somewhere else.
反正有成千上万的地方可以让我去跳舞 It's not like there isn't a million places I can go dance.
有点像当护士一样 It's kind of like being a nurse.
我 我很肯定 I... I'm pretty sure
你的工作比护士更有趣一点 what you do is a little more interesting than that.
其实远没有大家想的那么疯狂 It's actually way less crazy than everyone thinks.
多半时候就是对着一群可卡因成瘾的可悲男人 It's mostly just sad guys with cocaine problems.
听起来就像音乐行业 Sounds like the music business.
拜托 你们大概就是从早到晚坐在转椅上 Come on, you guys probably sit in swivel chairs,
吃着雪糕三明治 and eat ice cream sandwiches all day.
我们才不是那样 We do not.
我们从早到晚坐在转椅上 喝着椰子水才对 We sit in swivel chairs and drink coconut water all day, okay?
我喜欢喝椰子水 I like coconut water.
我也是 Me, too.
我也说不清 我觉得小时候 I don't know, I feel like when I was a kid
幻想的功成名就 不是现在这个样子 I imagined a very different picture of success.
我小时候很讨人厌 When I was a kid I was a terror.
我经常磕完药后去开车 I used to drive on mushrooms.
是指开机动车吗 Drive, like, automotive vehicles?
我那时完全是失控的 I was out of control.
我很高兴我认识的是现在的你 Um, I think I'm glad I met you now.
亲爱的 我知道你这么想 Oh, honey, I know you are.
跟我一起踏上"雪莉浴血重生"之旅 Come with me on the journey to Shell and Back.
雪莉浴血重生 To Shell and Back.
-好了 听着... -哪一个更好 - Okay, now... - Which one's better?
两个效果都很好 Well, they were both wonderful.
放轻松 去享受其中乐趣 但是听着... Play with it, have fun, but listen, listen...
好的 我 我遇到点麻烦 Okay, I... I'm having a little trouble.
-我的脖子开始有点... -没事的 没事的 - My neck is getting a little... - It's okay, it's okay.
-我有点眩晕 -当我把椅子转过来时 - I have a little vertigo. - Now when I come around,
你就说台词 say your line.
跟我一起踏上"雪莉浴血重生"之旅 Come with me on the journey to Shell and Back.
再来一遍 Again.
跟我一起踏上"雪莉浴血重生"之旅 Come with me on the journey to Shell and Back.
-再来... -再来我就要吐了 - And... - And now I have to throw up.
天呐 巴兹 刚才那条行吗 Oy! Gotenyu. Buzzy, was that all right?
-那条很棒 -太好了 - It was great. - Oh, good.
-很好 很好 -我们肯定拍到了很好的效果 - Oh, good. Good. - I'm sure we got good, good, good, stuff.
太好了 那就好 Good. All right.
-听起来也很棒吗 -棒极了 - Did it sound good? - Sounded great.
史上最棒 The best ever.
这相机可真厉害 This is some camera.
-是啊 -多少钱买的 - Yeah. - How much did it cost?
一千美金多一点 A little over a thousand bucks.
雪莉 这可是专业消费品 Look, Shell, this is prosumer.
配上几个好点的镜头 With a couple of good lenses,
我们拍出来的片子能和影院里的电影媲美 we can compete with movies in theaters.
我想不明白我们为什么就不能借用一下 Well, I don't see why we couldn't have just borrowed
莎拉和伦的相机 a camera from Sarah and Len.
他们买了一台超高档的用来拍扎克的割礼 They got that really nice one for Zachary's bris.
虽说是几年前的了 可还是... A few years ago, but still...
我们用我的手机试拍的那一条 I mean, and I thought that trial take that we did on my phone,
我也觉得很不错 I thought that looked really great.
宝贝 这是对你的投资 Babe, this is an investment in you.
是你应得的 你应得的 You deserve this. You deserve this.
巴兹 亲爱的 我也不想老念叨你 Buzzy, sweetheart, I don't want to be a noodge,
但是 你最近用我的信用卡 but, uh, you've racked up a lot of electronics
买了很多电子产品 on my credit cards recently,
我不想把卡给刷爆了 那得付很多利息 and I don't want to max them out and pay a lot of interest.
别担心 宝贝 我自有一套方案 Relax, babe, I got a system.
是吗 什么方案 Yeah, what system?
我帮你报名参加了积分活动 I enrolled you in a points program.
是免费参与的 每笔消费都可获得积分 It's free to join and everything you buy gets you points.
然后我们去退货 积分可以保留 And then we return the stuff, keep the points.
那些积分可以兑换旅行项目 All these points are good for travel.
我很讶异没有更多的人想到这个办法 It's amazing more people haven't figured it out.
万一相机弄坏了 我退不了了呢 What if this stuff gets damaged and I'm stuck with it?
雪莉 我又不是门外汉 I'm not an amateur, Shell.
可这机器这么复杂 It's just so complicated.
听我说 我...我不愿看到你... You know what? I... I can't stand to see this...
拉长着脸 过来这里 来 this long face. Come here, come here.
等等 你要干什么 Wait! What are you doing?
我要告诉你 我给你准备的小惊喜 I'm gonna let you in on my... on my little surprise.
我在筹备一次大型聚会 I'm working up to a big reunion,
买的这些东西 让我快攒够积分了 and I almost have enough points with everything we've got.
什么样的大型聚会 A big reunion with what?
全家人一起搭邮轮出游 Cruise tickets for the entire family.
真的吗 天呐 Really? Oh, my...
就是要看到这个美丽的笑容 There's that beautiful smile.
天呐 Oh, G...
别动 Don't move.
把你的眼镜给我 Give me your glasses.
宝贝 你帮我摘了 Take my glasses, babe.
好了 All right.
谢谢 Thank you.
我想分享的是 I'd just like to say
有一天我看到一个老太太在走路 I saw an old woman walking the other day.
弯着腰 驼着背 Hunched and hunched.
天啊 这个无情的世界啊 Oh, dear, this mean world.
大风快要将她吹倒 How the wind tried to blow her down.
我要买杯咖啡 Um, I need some coffee. Some coffee.
-好的 -你们是来参加开放演讲活动的吗 - Yeah. - You here for the open mic?
不 我们只是开车经过 No, we're just driving through.
-所以... -好吧 - So... - Cool.
那两杯咖啡行吗 So, yeah, two coffees?
好的 谢谢 Yes, please.
...紧紧抓住那个顶着狂风前行的人 ...gripped the walker in defiance of the gust.
他们没收到改用番茄干的通知 They didn't get the memo about sun dried tomatoes.
我高中时在三明治餐厅打工 I used to work at Wrapped It Up in high school.
每种三明治都要放一种很恶心的粉红色酱汁 And we put this nasty pink sauce in everything.
经理会在店里跑来跑去 吆喝着 And the manager used to run around going,
"每一口都要有汁" "No dry bites."
一遍又一遍 Over and over.
我的确讨厌咬到没有汁的 I do hate a dry bite.
是啊 我也是 Yeah, I do, too.
它说到 兄弟 你必须明白 And it said, brother, you gotta understand.
我们是勇者 We are the brave men.
如每天与太阳奋战的磐石一般 坚毅而勇敢 Brave like boulders battling the sun each day.
我们的面孔 是久经沙场的勇士之子 Our faces the hardened son of warriors,
不断战斗 以换取平安 battle and battle to keep safe.
我去去就回 I'll be right back.
男孩们去上战场 And the boys went off to war.
战争继续下去 And the war went on.
继续 And on.
再继续 And on.
请大家为朗鼓掌 Give it up for Ron, everybody.
好了 今天就到这里吧 Okay, I guess that's it for today.
感谢大家能来 I want to thank you guys for coming out.
当然可以 快上台吧 兄弟 Oh, yeah, sure. Come on up here, bro.
大家好 我叫... Um, hi, everybody. Um, my name's, um...
凯文·约翰逊 Kevin Johnson.
我来自达拉斯 Um, and I'm from Dallas.
我有段时间没弹过了 Haven't played in a while,
希望不会太难听 so hopefully this won't be too painful.
*我们能在另一个世界获得成功* *We can make it in another world*
*在那里 钱不等同于时间* *Where money doesn't equal time*
*时间不是墙上的一组数字* *Time is not a number on the wall*
*墙不会阻隔你我* *Wall don't keep what's yours from mine*
*我们能在另一个世界获得成功* *We can make it in another world*
*在那里 我们的身份不代表我们所做的* *Where who we are is not the same as what we do*
*我们所做的都出于爱* *And what we do comes from love*
*爱是一种语言 字字真切* *Love is a language and the words are true*
*画一张通往另一个世界的地图* *Make a map to another world*
*将你的时钟调成那里的时间* *Set your clock for another time*
*此处的钟声正在鸣奏* *The here the now is chiming*
*你听见了吗* *Do you hear it chiming?*
*画一张通往另一个世界的地图* *Make a map to another world*
*将你的时钟调成那里的时间* *Set your clock for another time*
*这里的钟声正在鸣奏* *The here the now is chiming*
*你听见了吗* *Do you hear it chiming?*
*画一张通往另一个世界的地图* *Make a map to another world*
*将你的时钟调成那里的时间* *Set your clock for another time*
*这里的钟声正在鸣奏* *The here the now is chiming*
*你听见了吗* *Do you hear it chiming?*
*画一张通往另一个世界的地图* *Make a map to another world*
*将你的时钟调成那里的时间* *Set your clock for another time*
*这里的钟声正在鸣奏* *The here the now is chiming*
*你听见了吗* *Do you hear it chiming?*
作为一个不做逾越节家宴的人 You know, for someone who never has a Seder,
你家里逾越节家宴用品还真多 you got a lot of Seder stuff.
-记得这个吗 -你找到逾越节家宴的盘子了 - Remember this? - Oh, you found the Seder plate.
我很喜欢它 Oh, I love that.
你记得95年那次盛大而惨不忍睹的逾越节家宴吗 You remember that big, famous, hideous Seder of 1995.
还记得吗 Remember that?
-有布丽娜姑妈那次 -天呐 当然记得 - With Aunt Brina? - Oh, my God, yeah.
对吧 她当年竟然相信辛普森是无辜的 Right? She was on OJ's side.
她一直说什么来着 What did she keep saying?
妮可能跟他在一起算是走大运了 Nicole was lucky to have him.
她到底重复嚷嚷了多少遍 How many times did she scream that?
真是不可理喻 I mean, yeah.
这一大堆都是什么玩意儿 What is all this crap?
你在干什么 What are you doing?
你是不是要开始当间谍之类的 Are you, like, starting a spy operation?
这都什么情况 What is happening here?
那些电子设备都是 It's all this electronic equipment
巴兹认为我们很需要买来 that Buzzy thought was very important for us to have
制作我的个人秀《雪莉浴血重生》的 for my one woman show, "To Shell and Back."
这个很贵的 This is super expensive.
谁付的钱 I mean, who paid for this?
我付的 I did.
我的节目 我的责任 My show, my responsibility.
他有交房租吗 Does he pay rent?
-什么 -我知道他搬进来住了 - What? - I mean, I know that he moved in.
拜托告诉我 他至少有交房租 Please tell me that he pays rent, at least.
他付房租给你了吧 He's paying you rent.
不会是你在养他吧 You're not taking care of him, are you?
那么说可真是性别歧视 Oh, that is a very sexist thing to say.
如果换作我是老男人 他是金发巨乳美女 If I were an older man, and he was a booby blondie,
我养他这件事就没人会多想了 不是吗 nobody would think twice about my supporting him. Would they?
好吧 你这假设完全与问题无关 Okay, that is, like, completely irrelevant,
你刚说的没一点 not one thing of what you just said
符合目前的情况 is actually what the situation is.
-你懂我的意思 -不 - Well, you know what I mean. - No.
我真的不懂 他是个成年人 Actually, I don't know. I mean, he's a fully grown man,
却刚花了 and he... he's just spent
数千美元买了你根本不需要的设备 thousands of dollars on equipment you don't need.
我现在很开心 I am... happy.
我真的非常开心 I am very happy.
就让我一直开心吧 Let me be happy.
这是祈福杯吗 This the kiddush cup?
不 这是纽约犹太博物馆的瓶子 No. It's a vase from the Jewish Museum in New York.
能冒充个祈福杯 It'll pass for a kiddush cup.
是的 杰克和我就那么完了 Yes, and that was the end of Jack.
我花了一个月才找到猫 Took me a month to find my cat.
他把它扔到动物收容所了 He dumped her at the animal shelter, you know.
接下来就是道格 Which led to Doug.
我就是在动物收容所认识他的 Who I met at the animal shelter.
他是去送去动物还是领养动物 Dropping off or picking up?
不 他在那里工作 Uh, no, he worked there.
至少他有工作有收入 At least he was gainfully employed.
是啊 Yeah.
变性期约会真是糟糕透顶 You know, dating while trans is a real shit show.
如果没有阴道 If you don't get the pussy,
你会被一群渴求鸡巴的嫖客当做解决特殊需求的途径 you're fetishized by a bunch of cock-hungry Johns.
如果你有了阴道 And if you do get it,
你依然背负着污名 you know, you're still stigmatized.
无论哪种情况都是对你不利的 It's like a no win situation.
我的女性朋友都跟我说别做生殖器手术 All my girlfriends told me not to bother with bottom surgery,
她们说那就像是放弃赚钱机器 they said I'd be giving up my coin machine.
老天 Jesus.
我甚至遇到个变性阿姨跟我说 I even had a trans auntie tell me,
"雪伊小姐 姑娘 别去做假阴道 "Miss Shea, girl, don't you go get that pussy, darling.
大家都知道 有鸡巴的妹子总能有钱赚" "You know what they say? A chick with a dick is always paid."
但那是在假设 But that... that's assuming that
你会成为性工作者 you're gonna be, like, a sex worker.
永远什么的 Like, forever. Or whatever.
那比如... I mean, what about...
我也说不清 比如组建家庭什么的 I don't know, maybe even having a family.
我的脚累了 你来开吗 My foot's asleep. You wanna drive?
好 在这边停下 Yeah. Here. Pull up right over here.
好了 All right.
轮到我开了 My shift.
按顺序来 It's order.
你看到了吗 Are you seeing this?
这到底是什么 What the hell is this?
我相信这是很庄严的东西 It's a thing of majesty, I believe.
我们要去调查一番吗 Should we, uh, investigate?
-当然 -好 - Of course. - All right.
普弗曼小姐 Miss Pfefferman.
-你怎么样 -很好 谢谢 你呢 - How are you doing? - I'm good, thanks, how are you?
我很好 I'm really good.
我听说你觉得有点痛 So, I hear you're having some pain.
我们来看看 好吗 Well, let's take a look, shall we?
等等 这东西让我有点紧张 Wait, uh, I get a little nervous around this stuff.
你上次给我 Last time you gave me, um,
一些那种气 some... some of that gas.
是的 上次给你了40 Yeah, last time we gave you 40.
觉得如何 How'd that feel?
-好 -好 - Uh, good. - Good.
我是说 或许 I mean, maybe, I don't know,
我可能需要多加10% 因为 I could use, like, 10 percent more, just 'cause...
卡特丽卡 Katrinka!
-我们会处理好的 -太棒了 谢谢 - We'll get you handled. - Great, thanks.
-你真的打开了 -是啊 - Did you just fuckin' open that? - Yeah.
等等 我卡这儿了 Wait, I'm like stuck.
-轻松穿过 -你进去了 - Clean through. - Are you in?
你总想跟我赛跑 You're always trying to race me.
不错 Not bad.
当心 Watch out!
你跑得真快 You're fuckin' fast.
我突然有个想法 I just had a notion.
是什么 What's your notion?
男人和女人做爱时 Um, like when a guy's having sex with a girl, he's like,
总会在心里想 always in the back of his mind, he's like,
我可能会让她怀孕 I might get this girl pregnant.
不妙 Not good.
但跟你 这种事 But, like, with you, it's like...
完全不可能 所以 not possible, so, I don't know,
可以完全放松 you could just relax.
全心投入 Like, go all out.
-真 -我只是 - That's... - I'm just...
真混蛋 That's fucked up.
等等 为什么 我 Wait, why? I...
那是好的一面啊 It's like a positive.
-我 -你就是这么想的 - I'm... - That's what you go to?
那是好的一面吗 That's the positive?
那是好的一面而已 我只是想说... It's a positive. I'm just tryin' to say...
我不明白 It's like, I don't see
为什么会有人觉得它是消极面 why it would ever be a negative for anybody.
那很棒 我是说 It's, like, great. I mean...
对不起 I'm sorry.
你这样说实在太愚蠢了 It's such a fucking stupid thing to say.
我就是该死的白痴 好吗 I'm a fuckin' idiot. Okay?
真傻 So dumb.
准备好起飞了吗 Ready for lift off?
转动轮盘 Spin the wheel!
有P吗 Is there a P?
-有F吗 -有F吗 - Is there an F? - Is there an F?
乔希·普弗曼
-你们在哪 -18 36 72 - Where are you? - 18, 36, 72.
最大奥秘 女神 夏气娜 The great mystery. Goddess. Chahina.
没有双选
神圣女性
我想解出谜题 I'd like to solve the puzzle.
你知道丽塔为什么自杀吗 Do you know why Rita killed herself?
-真可悲 -是的 - It's so sad. - Yes, it is.
我心中有个大洞 I have a huge hole in my heart.
-当然 -你是上帝吗 - Of course you do. - Are you God?
-女神 -你爱我吗 - Goddess. - Do you love me?
-永远 -真的吗 - Forever. - Really?
-真的 -为什么他不见了 - Really. - Why is he lost?
我想你知道的 艾丽 I think you know, Ali.
那我该怎么办 Well, what do I do?
你觉得你该怎么办 What do you think you should do?
-上帝 -女神 - God. - Goddess.
我们很快回来 We'll be right back.
你醒来了 You're back.
是的 Yes, I am.
你还好吗 You okay?
是的 Yes.
你可以在这里多待几分钟 不着急 I'm gonna let you hang out here for a few minutes. No rush.
好 Okay.
别走 抱歉 我只是 Wait, no, I'm sorry, I just...
我刚弄明白了许多事 我只是 So many things just became clear to me, and I just...
我能大声说出来吗 免得忘了 Can I say them out loud before I forget them?
好 Okay.
我刚看到了上帝 I just saw God.
好吧 Okay.
他说了什么 What... What'd he say?
她是女人 Uh, that she's a woman.
还是黑人 And she's black.
她长得跟你一模一样 And she looked just like you,
她告诉我一切都是本该有的样子 and told me everything is what it's supposed to be,
会没事的 我们会... and that it's gonna be okay, we're gonna be...
我们会没事的 We're gonna be okay.
我能看出来你这次还是不会洗牙的 And I can tell you're still not flossing.
好啊美女 What's up?
怎么了 What?
等等 Wait.
-就 -怎么了 - Just... - What?
-你能打住一会儿吗 -打住什么 - Can you just stop for a second? - Stop what?
怎么了 What?
有件事我不得不... There's just something I have to...
跟你说 To talk to you about.
好的 Okay.
我很健康 Look, I'm totally healthy and...
我的病毒载量基本检测不到 my viral load is undetectable,
真的没什么可担心的 and there's really nothing to worry about,
但我必须告诉你 我是HIV阳性 but I just have to tell you that I'm HIV positive.
我必须说 I have to.
不想等你以后发现 Just don't want you to find out later,
恨我 杀我之类的 and hate me or murder me or something.
我们只是接吻 I'm mean, we're... we're just kissing,
接吻不会传染的 对吧 I mean, you can't get it from kissing, right?
不 接吻不会 No, you can't get it from kissing.
好的 行 Okay. Yeah.
我不会 我不会 Um, I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna...
我不会杀你 也不会恨你 I'm not gonna murder you. I'm not gonna hate you.
没什么的 Um, it's cool.
所以你能接受 So you okay?
是的 Yeah.
车里有安全套 I have some condoms in the car.
安全套百分百安全吗 Um, are condoms, like, 100 percent?
有用吗 They work?
有种暴露前预防药 Look, there's, uh... there's this pill called Prep,
基本能消除一切 and it pretty much eliminates any chance
传染的可能 如果你想的话... of you getting it if you want to...
基本 Pretty much?
尚处于研究阶段 所以 Well, they're still researching it, so...
好吧 你身上带了吗 Okay. You have it here with you?
没有 我现在没有 Uh, no, I don't have it here.
不是这么用的 It doesn't work like that.
好吧 Okay.
更像是如果你想 It would be more like if you wanted to
放慢节奏 想想我们要怎么发展 slow things down and figure out where this is going.
或许我们回去时能看个医生 Maybe we could see a doctor when we get back.
问问长期的情况 Like, explore this more long term.
长期 Long term?
只是 It's just...
准备工作可真多 That's a lot of build up.
我是说 I mean...
我们直接走吧 Let's just go.
你生气了吗 Are you mad?
是啊 我生气 Yeah, I'm mad.
生我的气 为什么 At me? Why?
-为什么 -是啊 我 - Why? - Yeah. I'm, like...
我坦然接受了这一切 I've been totally cool with everything.
是啊 你值得奖励 Yeah, you know, you deserve an award.
真是大英雄 What a hero.
好吧 你刚刚是想跟我做爱 Okay, you just were about to fuck me,
可能不会给我传染艾滋病毒 好吗 and, like, probably not give me HIV. Okay?
我就不能问些问题吗 I'm not allowed to ask some questions?
我就不能暂停一下 I'm not allowed to, like, pause,
觉得诡异吗 and, like, feel weird?
你他妈到底为什么带我来这里 Why the fuck did you bring me here?
什么 我带你来是因为这样似乎很有趣 What... I brought you here because it seemed fun.
-这很有趣 -有趣 - Like, this is fun. - Fun?
-是啊 你看起来很有趣 -有趣 - Yeah, you seem fun. - Fun?
像是享受性工作者般有趣 乔希 Like a sex worker good time fun, Josh?
不 不过既然你提起了 No. Okay, well, now that you mention it,
我确实是付了钱的 I did pay for all this.
去你妈的 乔希 Fuck you, Josh!
你需要一个约会对象去告诉你儿子 You needed a fucking date to go tell your son
他的妈妈自杀了 his mother killed herself?
我看明白你了 我不是你该死的冒险 I see right through you, and I'm not your fucking adventure!
我是个人 I'm a person!
我不是你该死的冒险 I'm not your fucking adventure!
长大点吧 Grow up!
你就是个幼稚的孩子 You fucking child!
操你妈的 Fuck you!
去丹佛机场 Denver airport, please?
对不起 I'm sorry.
我不知道自己在做什么 I don't... I don't know what I'm doing.